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The Lighter Side of Life Autumn 2017

 

So the Conservatives won, but lost...
Labour lost, but won...
the SNP won and lost in Scotland,
but still won
and the Conservatives won in Scotland
but lost...
UKIP lost but because of Brexit they’ve
already won...
the winner, Mrs May, is being told to resign
because she didn’t win
and she won’t
because she won
even though she lost...

Did you know that “Dammit I’m Mad” spelt backwards is “Dammit I’m Mad” ?

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

TOMORROW: One of the great labour-saving devices of today.

A vicar addressed his congregation: “Let anyone who would like to be prayed over come up to the front altar.”
A line formed near the front of the church and, after the vicar had prayed over several people, it was George’s turn. “Vicar, I need you to pray for help with my hearing,” he said.
The vicar laid his hands on either side of George’s head and began to pray, first quietly, then louder and louder until the whole congregation was voicing their enthusiasm over the his words. After a few minutes, the vicar removed his hands, stood back, and asked, “Tell me, George, how is your hearing now?”
“Well, I don’t know,” said George, “it isn’t until next week.”